Groundbreaking research has shown that underachieving, underperforming, impoverished school-aged American children can now be saved. The unlikely hero? Educational testing reform? New class size legislation? Enlightened budgetary changes? Targeted, skill-based structural changes in struggling schools? By golly, no! No need to waste precious time and resources thinking through all that rubbish! Not when we have google docs! Now, American public school educators can create an unlimited number of google docs (short for "documents") in record time at no cost to the American taxpayer! These google docs can be accessed by teachers any time, any where, allowing administrators to require teachers to utilize time that would have otherwise been wasted twiddling their thumbs while on the toilet during a particularly lengthy evacuation or feigning earnestness during a dreary, overwrought bonding experience with their loved ones. Research has proven a causative relationship between sheer number of google docs completed by teachers and the success of their students! Researchers stated, in an interview with the author, "Eureka!" In accordance with precedent in the American public educational system, that was more than enough for policy makers to institute what they are terming the "google doc initiative". Administrators are enthusiastic. States one America mid-level administrator who asked to remain anonymous, "justifying my existence just became as easy as choosing a pre-made google doc template and finding a really pretty background for it."
